That thing called time...

Well, it's been a bit since I've blogged...something about life happening too quickly. I mean where is June going? I sat down to journal this morning and wrote the date and realized that time's just passing on by. It's funny, really. The whole notion of time and how wrapped up we get in it. In an infinite universe, time doesn't exist. It's just this arbitrary parameter man created to give it all context, meaning.

My whole life I've had time issues. There's clock time, mind you. Then there's what my sister calls 'Lara time,' which is on average 30-45 minutes behind clock time. My family and close friends have come to know this about me. So when I say I'll show up at 9, might as well go ahead and figure 9:30 or 10. I went through that phase of feeling guilty. You know, I'd hear people say 'oh well, you must really disrespect so-and-so if you don't show up on time.'

I guess if you equate time with money or time with...fill in the blank...then that could possibly be true. But in my mind, it's not that I'm trying to be disrespectful or selfish, it's just really that I don't like to be in a hurry. I don't like to rush. And if I'm arriving somewhere from my home, chances are I've gotten distracted by something and have lost all notion of time. You know like I'm putting on make-up and then walk to the kitchen for more coffee or water, and then I remember that I want chicken for dinner, but oh wait, it's frozen, so I pull it out of the freezer to realize the dish I like to put raw chicken in is dirty, so I guess I'll wash it real fast. Then before you know it, 15 minutes have passed.

In thinking about time passing us by, I think many of us get wrapped up not so much in the minutes of the day but the passing of the years. My 62-year-old aunt recently commented on how many people she knows who hate birthdays. What? How can you hate your birthday?! I LOVE my birthday. It's my own national holiday and for the past 11 years I've been employed since college, I have taken my birthday off if it falls on a workday.

But I, like many, sometimes fall into that trap of what at 33.5 years old, I coulda, woulda, shoulda been doing in my life. I look at my nearly four-month-old niece who for the past two months throws her legs out straight and tries to stand when you hold her (most babies don't do this at such an early age, so I'm told), or my 90-year-old grandmother, who looks about 70, walks two miles a day (never mind that she has macular degeneration and doesn't see well), volunteers several days a week at the 'old folks home' (she still lives alone in the house she's been in for the past 50+ years), rides the charter bus to Oklahoma a few times a month to play the slots, and regularly goes dancing.

I look at them as reminders that we are all on our own unique journeys, doing things in our own time and in our own ways. I am reminded that while I'm here on this earth, it is my 'time' to create. I can pick and choose how and with whom I spend my time and energy. What is that I truly want to create in those arbitrary 24 hours in my day? And in the years of my life?

So what about you? How are you creating your days? Are you spending your time the way you want? With who you want? If not, how might you make it up differently? I'll leave you to ponder...and if you want to really dive into this space-time continuum issue deeper, check out the movie 'What the Bleep Do We Know?' with Marlee Matlin...good stuff!

Until next time, have fun, be well, and if I'm meeting you for happy hour or dinner, don't worry if I'm a little late. I still love and respect you...I'm just running on 'Lara time.' :-)